Well... if you're not here when I wake up,
would you please take the kite...
I would't know what to do with it otherwise

What's with the stupid hat?

She comes again and tells me this time she'll make it and she's all over the place! But she is convinced and her resolution even made me think she could be right, until I noticed... the hat. As I take a better look at her and I contemplate those amazingly dark eyes I come to recognise that spark (again), the one that precedes every single attempt ant that she swears it's new... every single time.
"By the way I feel now" - she says- "I know this is going to change everything!".
To be perfectly honest I would have probably believed her this time, I have to admit that there are many things that have, in fact, changed quite a bit, and of course I want to believe it! I want to see it happen, once and for all, but it's just that little detail that hides behind her smile, the constant factor in every one of her little trials.
So in realising this, and knowing that I would not be able to make her see it, I decided to do as always and just smile, enjoy the light while it lasts as she goes around glimmering for everyone else to see, as she begins to feel much better and happier and stronger.
One more time I won't say a word and I'll try not to give away my ominous thoughts and I'll wait (again)... hope for the best... until I see the spark fade away and everything going back to its normal state. But in the meantime I'll hang on to the possibility, however unlikely, that this time before the jump, she will finally dig it! Then everything will actually change, and we won't be sitting here again later, thinking of the next step to take.
But ultimately if this one turns out to be another mishap, I think I would still stay and wait for the next rush, even for the next collision and maybe... for the next fall.

Schrödinger's cat

I had thought about this for a long time, I had the words prepared for such a long time and as the days went by I guess I just figured I wouldn't need them anymore so when the moment came, as I started to speak, I realized I had forgotten them.
Oh well... it passed me by, like so many others.
I know the procedure, I've been here before so It should be easy (easier than before) now it's just a matter of letting things slip away, and yet that question keeps popping up, even though I promised I wouldn't fall for it again; what if...
No point resisting so go on then... open the box! Who's coming out now?
I hope you're not expecting the answers because I don't have them and to be perfectly honest I think I just don't want to know them anymore.
It's fine then I'll stay and fight but only for a while because I think there are still some other things I have to do. So if it's not today, we'll have to find some other place, maybe even some new faces, some other game to play. So it's not now... It must have been some other time...

Did I not?

Woke up at 3 a.m this morning with no recollection of what I had been dreaming, with a slight feeling of anxiety and not really knowing where I was. With so many possibilities...
In the end nothing really had changed I was lying on my couch just like the night before (and I can't remember how many before that one).
I will eventually convince myself that this is better than that other place we were living in. I know in time I will end up admitting that certainty is not always the best option. In the meantime I'll just write even if it's only so I won't forget...